Psychological Battle - The Fear that Paralyzes You!

Unless you are a man well versed at handling women and confident of your capabilities (in which case you couldn't be reading this) you probably hesitate to take the first step in actually approaching a woman, asking her out, dating her and then kissing her.

Why?

You are scared. Scared she might say no to your face. Ridicule you or in some way insult or upset you. You are not sure she will smile and be delighted at being asked out by you.

But that is the reaction you want.

You want to be rid of the feeling of fear and be confident enough to approach any woman, ask her out and kiss her and touch her in ways that will drive her and you insane.

Understanding Fear

What is Fear ? Where does it come from? How can it affect you?

Fear can be thought of as an emotion that you anticipate (of pain -either emotional or physical—or danger) even before it has happened.

Fear lives in our minds and is unseen by anyone else. A fear of anything can grow until it can take over our lives and limit our behavior. But it is all in our minds. So if we stop to examine it closely and try to decide what exactly we are scared of, the fear itself will diminish and we can come up with a solution to the problem that caused the fear in the first place.

How often have athletes spoken of how they imagine victory and then have it come true.

Can you imagine if you were to ask an athlete before a big even what his mind set was and he answered by saying 'Well, I expect to come last and lose and be humiliated and shamed by the crowd and my colleagues'!!!!!

Think how strange that would sound. And what would be your original reaction on hearing that ... your reaction would be, “then why are you entering the race if you are so sure you are going to lose. If you are so
sure you are going to lose then you will lose.”

Aah! See how clear it is when it is someone else who has these thoughts. And yet what do we do... Let's come back to our man who is scared of rejection.

Before he even goes near a woman, he knows how she will react. He can imagine her turning her head to give him a cold look or a frosty smile.

Bluntly refusing his advances and walking away, leaving him the butt of many a joke ... So what does he do, he approaches her with a mindset of 'Expecting Rejection' and that is what he gets.

The human mind as everyone repeatedly says, is a wondrous thing. If you program it for success it will succeed. If you program it for failure, it will deliver that too.

So the first step you have to take is stop thinking things like:

I am not handsome

I am not good looking

I am not rich

I don't have a fabulous car, job, whatever.

I am sure she wouldn't talk to me.

She'll laugh at me.

She'll make fun of me.

I'll look like such a jerk if she says no to me.

I am not handsome.

I am not good looking.

I am not rich.

I don't have a fabulous car, job, whatever.

I am shy ...